The FanFiction Bar
by CaptainPixie
Summary: When you get your heart broken, you visit the fanfic bar, here The Doctor, Wolverine and Captain Jack Sparrow drown their sorrow's


_THIS is utter fluff, something that just took my fancy, it may be funny, it may be sad, but it is total fluff, be warned ok ;)_

_Ok, we have Wolverine from x-men, Doctor Who & Pirates of the Caribbean in the Tavern tonight, so sit back enjoy the madness ;)_

_A BIG THANK YOU to Cacunai for editing this for me, cheers alot hun :D and for WitchNova for helpin me out, you rock hun and good luck with the wedding :D_

Fan Fiction Characters Bar

_by P_

The small billboard over The Broken Drum read "Broken Hearts Night, All Drinks Half Price." There were characters from many stories milling around, looking glum and fed-up. Half of the bar played host to the men, the other half the women; no one wanted to mix tonight.

Becca the barmaid stared at the miserable characters around her and sighed. Broken Hearts Night was always good for money, but it played hell with a girl's outlook on life. There was just so much misery. She stared at the three men before her, so completely different, yet all wearing broken hearts on their sleeves. She went to the first one and smiled kindly at him.

"Another shot, Logan?" she asked him. Logan glanced up and nodded.

"Jean dumped you again, then?" she asked. She was bored and had plans tonight, and she really didn't like Jean Grey, who was a total skank in her books. Logan shrugged.

"Nope, Scott came back from the dead, so of course I'm shoved to the side," he grunted.

"Makes a change," Becca muttered.

"Leave the bottle, will ya darlin'?" Logan asked as he tipped his cowboy hat over his eyes and stared at the bar. Becca sighed and went to the next one. He was tall, handsome with gold teeth and a cheeky grin; he also wore a hat, a tri-cornered one.

"More rum, Jack?" she asked him. Jack looked up with a sad grin.

"Aye lass, and that's Captain, _Captain_ Jack if you please," he muttered, downing his drink. Becca rolled her eyes and poured him another drink.

"Okay, Captain, who was she this time... 'cause I know it's not Scarlet this time, or Giselle, so which floozy did you give your heart to?" Becca asked him.

Jack leaned back with a roguish smile and let out a humourless laugh.

"I fell for a highborn lady this time, and where did it get me? Into the belly of the kraken," Jack told her, almost falling off the stool now. Logan's hand shot out to steady the Captain. Jack gave him a nod of thanks. Logan grunted and went back to his drink.

"Well, if you'll behave like a prat," Becca said and moved onto the next man. This one she really liked. He was tall, with warm brown eyes, scruffy brown hair and a long neck. He was wearing a brown pinstriped suit, with a long tan-coloured overcoat and white tennis shoes. She gave him a genuinely warm smile as she topped up his drink. Of all the things he could've asked for, it had been a decent cuppa.

"All right there, Doctor?" she asked. The Doctor looked up at her and nodded, then went back to staring at his now-full mug in front of him.

"Come on, sweetheart, cheer up," Becca said; she hated to see him so down. He had always been a real gentleman to her and seeing him so down was heartbreaking.

"I will. She's alive and safe and with her family... I should be happy she's out of it," the Doctor moaned. It was then that Captain Jack Sparrow decided to butt in.

"Well then, what the hell you doing here mate, believe me, you're better off without women," Jack growled. The Doctor gave him a pointed look.

"Nine hundred years of travelling through time and space, and still I end up on Earth in a bar that shouldn't even exist. Go blow yourself!" the Doctor said,

suddenly getting up and walking off in an angry huff. Becca glared at Jack, who only gave her a "What did I do now?" look. Logan started to laugh at

this, but stopped when Becca glared his way too.

"And _you_, pull yourself together. What is it with you and bloody redheads? For crying out loud, find a woman who loves you back and stop with all this fucking melodrama, honestly." Becca bit off and stalked off after her friend the Doctor. Logan sat on his stool in total shock and Jack sniggered at him. That's when Jack saw three sets of claws appear in front of his eyes… they went wide.

"Wanna make something of it, bub?" Logan asked. Jack grinned, then stepped back, pulled out his own sword, and gave Logan a slight bow.

"Well maybe I just may," he said with an evil grin as he lunged at Logan, cutlass raised.

When Becca returned a few hours later, it was to find the bar in total disarray. Tables were overturned, the bar was covered with broken glass and

spilled drinks, and there were a few people lying on the floor groaning. Becca glared at the offending pair, who were sitting, one with a black eye, drinking rum and smiling. She marched over to the pair, gripping each by an ear.

"Ow, ow, ow, let go o' me ear, woman!" Jack muttered. Logan had the good sense to stay quiet. Becca twisted Jack's ear harder.

"You two are gonna clean this place up and get it ready for tonight, or so help me I will make sure you both end up in a gay slash fic. Is that understood?" she told them. They both nodded, knowing she had the power to back up the threat. It was then that the Doctor walked in, looking happier now.

"My, my, what a mess, shouldn't take long to fix... weeeell, I say not too long, I mean a few hours… weeeell when I say a few hours, of course I'm factoring in that you'll of course have help and money -- very important is money I'm led to believe. Did you know that money started off as a promissory note from just a single bank and they used tally sticks with notches cut into them and then split down the middle so you couldn't fiddle them and I'm rambling again aren't I?" the Doctor asked as Becca, Logan, and Jack just stared at him in disbelief. The Doctor reached up and scratched his ear, giving them all a sheepish smile.

"I'll just, err... just being... thanks for the drink and the chat, Becca," the Doctor said as he walked over to his blue public police call box, waved a

final goodbye, and left. Becca was still staring but as the box disappeared she returned her attention to the two men still squirming beneath her wrath.

"Now... about the bill," she began.

_Like I said, utter fluff, so what ya think peep's, R&R please :D_


End file.
